is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
