I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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