mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
