I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
