Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
