Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize