i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Shame - the story of my life.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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