Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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