I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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