Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize