dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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