I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
