Im at strip club and am horny
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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