Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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