I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She's the barista slut.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
