Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
