quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
