I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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