they need to just BURY HIM!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
