So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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