Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize