Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
