I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize