The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
God I need to hump something, right now.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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