hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
