and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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