Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
