We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
