I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm at about main and main street
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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