If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
