yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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