Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think I just sharted jello shots
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
