just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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