why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
