Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize