Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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