omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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