worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
