pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
