I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I cut my penus on the lid.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
