if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
