You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
