he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize