It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
