Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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