Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
When did angry sex become our thing?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
