And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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