I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize