You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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