Your tits are I can't wait for
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
