So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize