you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
