you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
