thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
