YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
