Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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