**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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