We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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