I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
