"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
